How Steve Broman Got his period

I began my day like any other, a morning stretch, a cold shower, a quick yet hearty masturbation in front of the window that faces old lady winters house. Old lady Winter was a woman, well into her 90’s, wise, stunning, sexual, she had the libido of a woman in her 70s. She enjoyed my morning rituals almost as much as I did, Id even go as far as saying that she changed her morning gardening schedules to coincide with my masturbatory display. This particular morning was different; you see old lady winters had been sent to the elderly house in the sky, which isn’t a euphemism for death; it’s the name of the local old folk’s home. A towering building that overshadowed anything around it, including the cemetery which out of convenience was moved rite next door to the Elderly Hours in the Sky. Now the player has moved into different skin, for old lady winter enjoys her morning rituals with a round of hide the fingers, as her former housemates, ripened by the soil, look on with enjoyment.
Currently her house was being appraised by the Realtor, and since I did miss Old lady Winters, I decided to send the old girl off with a 21 jerk salute, but that seemed easier send then done. By the 17th load, I started to ejaculate bits of (what I can only call) waxy tissue. Honestly, I was just about to quit, when someone came knocking on my door, turns out it was old lady winters daughter, Cindy Winter. She said to me “Listen you need to cut this whole masturbation thing out, your causing our property value to decrease”. What could I say? She had a point, it was only a second later that I started to realize that, my penis began to drip blood. A side effect of these mornings honorable sendoff, no doubt. Cindy noticed immediately “oh my god” she bellowed so loud everyone on the block heard her.
So now, I’m banned from the block parties, the block association, I’m no longer allowed near any schools and I have to stay 50 feet from the new next door neighbors. All in all I say it was completely worth it, I became a man today, I got my period, I went to the store to buy any type of masculine napkins but they didn’t have any, so for now I’m using toilet paper. Its been a month and I’m late, I really hope I’m not pregnant.